The only exception
by lovenhardt1
Summary: Sometimes the road is really long and painful but so worth the bumpy ride. Adam/Tommy, Adommy, Lambliff.
1. Chapter 1

"Why the hell did you say THAT?" Adam looked at a furious Tommy, his eyes burning with anger making them dark and dangerous. He was walking around the hotel suite like a caged animal and grinding his teeth together, making the muscle in his jaw stand out. Tommy rarely got angry, but when he did there was always a good reason. But right now Adam thought Tommy was overreacting.

"I didn't say anything wrong, I am the only exception," Adam smiled a wicked smile, "unless there is something you aren't telling me."

"That isn't the issue here, is it?" Tommy stopped his movements, and stared at Adam, God he wanted to punch him. His hands curled up in fists along his sides.

"Then by all means Tommy, WHAT is?" Adam tilted his head and looked at Tommy's hands as they relaxed again. Tommy crossed his arms across his chest, his hands holding around his biceps. He sighed, the anger was slowly leaving him, he never could stay mad. Not even when it was righteous. Instead he felt frustrated and a little sad.

"The issue here, Adam, is that you said it! And someone is bound to misunderstand that statement! That you weren't talking about kisses but sex, maybe even love, and don't get me wrong, I do love you, you know that. I just get tired of defending my sexuality, myself. I don't mind the stage play…. I love it, I love fooling around with you, on stage. But sometimes I just wish… that you would shut up and let it pass. I know they ask, but could you just….. not answer? We've talked about it, you promised me!" Adam ran a hand through his black hair. It was a gesture of pure frustration. Okay he fucked up, he could see that. He had made a deal with Tommy, and tonight he didn't commit to it. He knew that.

This was a discussion they had been through many times, Tommy would never say no to Adam's suggestions, he would even come up with some of his own, because he truly believed in pushing people's buttons. And he had fun doing it on stage, he did. Another reason was that as a friend of Adam's, he didn't mind stirring up the waters for the gay and lesbians.

But sometimes he felt like he was reduced to being Adam's boy toy. Sometimes the wondering about if or if not he was gay got to him. Not the question itself, but the feeling of his life being dissected by the media and fans. Sometimes he just wanted to hide away from everything. And tonight was one of these times. Adam's little rendezvous with the fans just set him off, because Adam had promised not to discuss Tommy's life when he wasn't there, and tonight he did.

Adam put his hands in his back pockets and leaned back on his heels. He kept his eyes locked on Tommy's.

"I'm sorry, Tommy, I wasn't thinking. She asked if you were a good kisser! I can't deny that, but I realize I should have stopped there," he walked over to where Tommy was standing.

"Forgive me?" he made his best kicked-puppy eyes and flashed his lashes. Tommy couldn't help himself, he laughed.

"I forgive you, if you give me a hug and buy me a beer at the bar later," Adam immediately pulled him into his arms, squishing him the best he could. Tommy began to fight him while giggling.

"I said hug me, not kill me you idiot."

When Tommy entered the bar later that night, his eyes automatically searched for Adam. He found him dancing with some cute twink. They seemed to hit it off. Tommy felt his heart swell as he saw the happy look on Adam's face. Tommy spotted Isaac too, but at the bar. He walked over and sat down, signaling the bartender.

"Hey," Isaac sends him a concerned look. He saw Tommy earlier, and he knew that something had pissed him off, but he hadn't had the chance to ask. Now he wanted to be there for his friend.

"You okay?" he put his hand on Tommy's shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"Yeah, he just pissed me off today, but we're good," Tommy smiled and took a swing at his beer.

"What pissed you off? You two are always so in sync that it is scary," Tommy laughed at that, he knew that most people thought that they were an item.

He also knew that Isaac didn't. Isaac was the only person on the face of the planet that knew how confused he sometimes got about his feelings towards Adam. Sharing a hotel room with a friend like Isaac made Tommy spill his guts in those late night conversations. Isaac was just so easy to talk to, and he could keep things to himself. Tommy treasured that – him.

"Aarr, it was stupid. He told some fan that I was a great kisser and I liked girls, but that he was the only exception. I got mad because –"

"He promised you, yeah I remember that conversation," Isaac looked over at Adam and laughed.

"Does it matter, though?" Isaac asked. Tommy sends him a look of confusion.

"I mean, people are gonna believe what they want anyway, so does it matter what he said?"

"Hmm, yes and no. Yes, because I don't feel the need to defend who I am, and I certainly don't need Adam to do so. I hate labels in all shapes. It kills individuality, the uniqueness every person has. And no, because it doesn't matter what they think, I don't care…..the people close to me know me, my core, and that matters. I will never have to explain or label anything with you guys. So far, I'm a straight dude, but if I meet a guy and I want to fuck him, you guys will never judge me for that," as he said that, his eyes wandered to Adam. Isaac smiled knowingly. Stupid, stupid boys.

The bus stopped and the Glamily began to pack their stuff for the night. Adam was on the couch, Tommy curled in under his right arm, resting his head on Adam's chest. Monte looked in the guy's direction.

"You're coming?" Adam nodded and smiled.

"In a minute,"

"Is he sleeping?" Montes voice filled with awe.

"Yep," Adam let out a soft laugh.

"It never stops to amaze me how he can sleep anywhere anytime, I envy his ability to do so."

Monte sounded as if he really meant it, Adam couldn't blame him. The rest of the band often had problems sleeping on an ever moving bus or airplane. Adam let his knuckles run down Tommy cheek.

"Wake up babe," Tommy didn't even move, not one sign showing that he heard Adam. So he did it again, and this time he shifted his weight a little too.

"Tommy, we are at the hotel….wake up,"

"Noooo, let me sleep," Tommy whined, readjusting so he fitted perfect onto Adam's body again.

"Babe, in five minutes you can be in a comfy bed, beats the shit out of this," Adam smiled at Tommy's attempt to sneak back to sleep.

"But I'm comfy… and warm," Still whining, which made Adam laugh softly. Damn, he was cute like this. But Adam wanted to get into the hotel room, needed a little privacy and a fucking bath, so he had to get Tommy moving.

"Yeah, but you won't be when I leave!" it has half a joke, half the truth.

"Then don't leave, stay with me, keep me warm….." Tommy snuggled closer, nuzzling Adam's neck and inhaled his unique scent before he kisses the skin just below the jaw, "…..and comfy," Adam's breath hitched. Damn you, Tommy Joe, every fucking time! Not fair. Good thing he doesn't know, that would probably ruin a pretty awesome friendship. Adam sighed.

"Alright, I'll make you a deal, you get up now and get your things, wait," Adam stopped Tommy as he tried to say something, "and you can sleep in my bed the next couple of hours," Tommy smiled against Adam's chest.

"Hm, what's in it for you?" Tommy stood up, stretching his body, arms over his head, his t-shirt lifted, revealing the skin on his stomach, Adam swallowed. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts.

"I don't get an unmotivated bass player with a cold, because he was too lazy to stay warm, so I win too! Now MOVE IT!" Adam made his best boss face.

"Hey, hey I'm going!" Tommy blew Adam a kiss and went to collect his stuff.

Adam opened the door, but somehow Tommy was the first in the room, he always seems to move silent and quickly. The only reason Adam always knows when Tommy is near is this tingly feeling along his spine that follows Tommy's presence. Tommy was checking out the room and when his eyes land on the bed, his face lit up in a huge smile, lighting the room up. He dumped the suitcase on the floor.

"So what do you want to do tonight…?" Tommy flopped down on Adam's bed, right in the middle off it. Adam sat down and looked at Tommy in amusement. Tommy smiled widely.

"Because I was kinda thinking we could hang out here, maybe watch a movie, have a sleepover?" he laughed softly as he moved over to where Adam has sitting, putting his head on Adam's lap. He closed his eyes in contentment. Being like this! That's what makes life worth living. When Adam let his fingers run through his hair, he almost moaned out loud. God his fingers were magic.

Adam smiled at Tommy's expression. The little kitty looked like he was about to purr.

"Love to babe, have plans though. You can't stay in my bed tonight night, I promised you a couple of hours, which is it for today!" Tommy could hear the smile in Adam's voice, infectious that smile, made Tommy's lips curl too.

"You're kicking me out," it was a statement, not a question.

"Kinda, remember the guy I meet in Finland?" Tommy felt how his body tensed, this couldn't be good. Not good at all. He sat up looking at Adam, hoping desperately that his ears deceived him. He could handle that, not hearing.

"Yeah I do," Tommy sounded guarded, and if Adam had paid attention he would have noticed that. But he was excited about his date.

"We have been keeping contact, flirting a lot!" Adam's eyes sparkled, and Tommy felt it as anger and resentment filled his body, but Adam was unaware of Tommy's inner turmoil.

"And he is here…. So I got a hot date!" Adam's voice pitched in joy. Tommy almost jumped off the bed; he had to get out of here. He felt like he couldn't breathe and his fucking knees trembled, traitors! He fought his anger to the best of his ability but his voice came out sharp and low.

"Was that really necessary?" Adam looked puzzled.

"Huh?" the expression on Adam's face made it damn near impossible not to explode and even though Tommy really didn't want to say anything, his stupid mouth decided to spit out.

"To shove it in my face like that?"

"What the fuck?" Adam pulled a hand through his hair, he didn't understand anything. What the hell did he do? Why was Tommy acting like a…total dick. Tommy glared at him, as he lifted the suitcase off the floor. Damn it he looked pissed, his eyes got all dark and….. hurt? Adam really didn't understand and the frustration he felt almost made him angry too.

"I'm….. I'm gonna go, just got to….I'll be in my room, with Isaac." Tommy's voice dripped with venom.

"Oh….. and have a fucking great date!" Tommy hissed as he yanked at his suitcase and stamped out the door.

"What the hell Tommy?" Adam yelled behind him. But all Tommy knew was, he had to get out of there before he said something utterly stupid, like how he really felt. Damn that would most likely ruin everything.

"Tommy?" he kept walking, he had too. His head was spinning, his stomach twisted, and by God, his heart was bleeding out. So this was how it felt? To get your heart broken to pieces.


	2. Chapter 2

The door slammed, and Isaac looked up from the suitcase he was unpacking. Tommy kicked the suitcase right after it hit the ground. Isaac frowned as his eyes followed every movement Tommy made closely, he knew Tommy, and right now it was time to be silent and wait, Tommy would tell him what his problem was as soon as he had calmed himself down a bit. So Isaac waited, and unpacked.

Tommy flopped down on his bed, and put an arm over his eyes, he was absolutely still for two minutes. Then he turned so he was on his stomach, he buried his head in the pillow and growled. Another five minutes went by.

Isaac realized that whatever it was that made Tommy hide like that, had to be serious. Isaac sat down and looked at him, then decided that maybe some sort of peace offering would help Tommy on the way. So he went to the minibar and found two beers and a bag of peanuts. He went back to sit next to Tommy, offering him the beer. Tommy took it and put it on the bed table, but didn't say anything. He had moved up to the headpiece of the bed, his knees were pulled up under his chin and his arms snaked around his legs. He looked as if he tried to hold himself together. Isaac tried to get eye contact, but Tommy's hair was in the way and when he brushed it away, Tommy deliberately looked down.

"Talk to me TJ," Isaac's voice was soft and low, but at the same time demanding.

"I hate myself too much to talk right now," Isaac furrowed his brows; he didn't see that one coming.

"You hate yourself? Why on earth would you do that? What did you do?" Isaac took a sip of the beer and put it on the other bed table. He pushed a pillow behind his back; he was clearly going to be there for a while, might as well get comfy. Tommy looked at him, and Isaac saw how unhappy he was, this wasn't a little thing, that's for sure.

"I made a complete fool of myself, I got fucking jealous!" Isaac realized that this was about Adam, but then again Tommy wasn't the easiest person to throw off guard, and when he looked like this, it almost had to be about Adam. Isaac didn't say anything, he just waited patiently.

"Remember when I told you about the talk Adam and I had about… well, Adam and I?"

"You mean the agreement about ignoring the fact that there is 'something' between you. The decision to stay friends, and only friends?"

Tommy nodded and looked at the beer, he sighed as if he decided that he needed the liquid courage to go on. He almost finished the beer before putting it back on the table. Isaac was still observing him, not missing one little detail. His heart ached for his friend, but he knew that he wasn't the one who could make Tommy's pain go away, only Tommy could do that. But he could listen, and maybe even help to get some perspective on things. So again he pushed a little.

"And?"

Tommy leaned forward and put his forehead on his kneecaps. His voice was almost fragile when he spoke.

"What if that was the biggest mistake of my life Isaac?" Tommy looked up, his eyes begging for Isaac to tell him that wasn't the case.

"Do you want things to change?" Isaac asked. Tommy shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't know, but I think I might have blown my chance to find out….. and I feel like I am suffocating," Isaac let a hand rub Tommy's shoulder.

"Why… have you guys been fighting?"

"I wouldn't call it a fight; he announced he had a date tonight! With a guy he's apparently been talking to and flirting with for a while. And I just….. I couldn't keep it together I felt so…" Tommy shook his head in disbelief.

"Jealous," he looked at Isaac as if he desperately needed him to understand. "And I don't EVER do jealous, that's not me, not who I am."

"Hmmm, go on," Tommy bit his lips almost to the point of drawing blood. The pain felt liberating and present, removing some of the hurt inside.

"I was a bitch, a green eyed bitch. And I gave too much of myself away, asking him if it really was necessary to shove it in my face. You should have seen the look in his face…..don't think I've ever seen him this… angry, I guess."

"So, you've been angry at each other before, that's natural. You will work it out, you always do," Isaac said trying to comfort.

"I know we will, he will forgive me. But what upsets me the most is that I turned into a person I don't even recognize, I hate that! Not being in control of myself… I totally deserve it if he ends up falling head over heels for this guy," Isaac got an angry and disappointed look in his eyes.

"You don't really believe that, do you? That you don't deserve him? TJ, now you're pissing me off. So he's got a date, he's been kissing plenty guys on tour….. and what if you're jealous? That only means you care, that might be the biggest compliment he will ever get! You need to figure out what it is that you want, and when you do, go after it. Put yourself out there, take a chance. You might get hurt doing so. But you might get the biggest fucking gift in the world too." Tommy sends Isaac a shy look.

"So what do you want to do?" Isaac asked. Tommy frowned,

"Go out. Get really, really drunk, and forget myself!"

"That isn't solving anything… but if that's what you want, I'm going with you. Not leaving you alone like this, you're a mess," Tommy laughed, the sound coming out was nearly hysterical.

"I fucking know!"

Tommy's phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket, looking at the screen. Adam. Tommy sighed as he answered. Isaac silently left the room giving Tommy some privacy.

"Hey."

"Hey, it's me."

"I know, that is what callers id is for, you know," Tommy smiled, small sparks returned into his eyes.

"So, what the hell was that about Tommy? You can't throw something like that in my face and just leave." Adam's voice was soft despite the words. Tommy sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry, I had no right…"

"Tommy, damn it, what got into you?"

"I'm sorry, and that is all you're gonna get!" Tommy hissed.

"Sorry for what exactly, being a bitch or leaving me there wondering what the hell went wrong… you killed my happiness today. I'm so confused. A little help here…" Adam's voice was still soft and that almost killed Tommy.

"Both. Sorry for both. Or all of it! Forget it ever happened and have fun tonight. Don't what to kill your happiness. Never meant to."

"Is that all I'm gonna get? Really?" A bit of impatience had crawled into his voice now.

"Yes."

"I hate you! I won't be able to think about anything else tonight!"

"Oh, I am sure you will. Have fun. I'll see you tomorrow," Tommy didn't wait to hear Adam's response. He threw his phone on the bed and got off it.

"Isaac?" Isaac popped his head in from the other room.

"You rang dear,"

"Hitting the bar now, wanna come?" Isaac nodded. He accepted that this was Tommy's way to deal with things right now.

Hours later Tommy and Isaac are having a serious giggle fest in the bar of the hotel. They can't even look at each other without bursting out; tears are rolling down Tommy's cheeks. He is drunk, as drunk as he set out to be and Isaac is just as drunk. They attract a lot of glares, but that just sets them off again.

This is how Adam finds them when he returns from his night out. He hears the laughter and smiles down to his date, guiding him the way of the sweet sound of Tommy's amusement. Adam is just so drawn to that sound, that he doesn't even think about why he needs to see Tommy. When he reaches the bar Isaac spots him.

"Honey, we got company," as he says so he put a hand on Tommy's and give it a gentle squish, letting Tommy know who it is before he turns. Tommy's eyes widen. Fuck this was not supposed to happen! This was supposed to be a night of denial, a fucking Adam-free night. Tommy's laughter stops and he turn around to face his nemesis. The first person his eyes catches, is the fucking blond standing next to Adam – holding his hand. Tommy's eyes wander to Adam and he slowly mutters a, "Hey,"

Adam returns it, as he let the beauty of Tommy's face hit him in the gut like it always do, his eyes gets distracted by a tear caught in Tommy's lashes, it sparkle like a little diamante, and before he can stop himself he catches it with his thumb. Tommy leans into the touch, his eyes close but Isaac snake an arm around Tommy's chest and pull him in against his own, saving Tommy from himself.

"Hands off, he is mine tonight! You got your own toy right there," Isaac points at the blonde. Adam sends Isaac a look of confusion. What the fuck? Tommy gives Isaac a flirty look; he can't help himself that's just the way he is. If somebody wants to play, he plays along. He bats his lashes and makes his best Bambi eyes, and move a slender arm up and around Isaac's neck.

"Aaww babe, I'm your toy tonight? Are we finally putting our beds together?" Isaac burst into a loud laugh.

"Hell yeah, I could do with a kiss and a cuddle," Tommy can feel the laughter building up in his chest again, no chance in hell he can hold it back, so he laugh into Isaac's neck. Adam drags a hand through his hair and he looks somewhat frustrated. Tommy giggles again. Just can't suppress it.

"Oops, did it again," Isaac tilts his head, a quizzical look in his eyes makes Tommy answer right away.

"Got him angry! He only does that when he is mad at me…" Tommy visualizes Adam's gesture by pulling his own hand through his hair, "..wonder what I did this time?" Adam opens his mouth to speak, but gets cut off by Isaac.

"Nothing babe," he turns to look at Adam. His glare daring Adam to say otherwise and with a wink of an eye he says.

"Enjoy the rest of your night boss, I'm taking this cutie with me to bed," he hugs Tommy from behind, "because two is a party, but three is a fucking crowd," Tommy tries so hard to hold back another giggly attack, but loses. He focuses on Adam, or at least he tries too. Damn he is drunk. Isaac gets him guided off the chair, how he manages to is beyond Tommy, because he is just as drunk.

"Night, Babyboy," Tommy is fucking proud of himself for holding back the laughter as well as sounding like he couldn't care less about the blonde that obliviously is meant to spend the night in Adam's bed. The guys lean on each other as they walk towards the elevator, trying to balance each other out. Tommy's got an arm around Isaac's waist and he leans into Isaac's ear whispering,

"Too bad I love your sweet wifey, I could really do with a kiss and a cuddle right now," Tommy sighs heavily and Isaac smiles wickedly. He stops and turns around, throwing his arms around Tommy and gives him a huge hug, squeezing him tight, letting Tommy feel how loved and cared for he is. But comfort isn't the only thing on Isaac's mind. Maybe Tommy wasn't the only one in need off a wakeup call. And judging by the look on Adam's face, he might just get that call right now. Isaac smiled. Baby steps, right! But moving forward none the less.

"What was that about?" A soft voice asks Adam. He shakes his head, clearing his brain of confusing thoughts. What the fuck WAS that about? Tommy is acting all weird today and Isaac is what…Flirting with him? And being all possessive. Like he fucking owns Tommy, NOBODY owns Tommy. And Isaac is married for crying out loud!

He sees Isaac hugging Tommy, ever so tight. And Tommy seem to dive into it sooo fucking much, like he needs it to survive.

"Adam?" Adam looks at his date; he had a good time tonight, a really good time. And now….. well, he had just forgot about that other person right beside him. That was fucking scary!

"Sorry, Sauli! I have no idea what that was about! No idea,"

But silently Adam had to admit to himself that the idea of Tommy kissing and cuddling with someone else was killing him. Oh shit, he was in trouble. Tremendous trouble.

Around noon the next day, Adam knocks on the door leading to Isaac and Tommy's room. He is not too sure about why he is there, Tommy usually drops by him, but he feels like there is something he needs to get clarified. Isaac opens the door; he is wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. He looked like the fun he had last night finally caught up with him, but as he sees Adam a wide smile light up his face.

"Hey Adam, what's up?" he moves away from the doorframe, inviting Adam in. Adam takes a long look as Isaac's face before entering the room. He looks around, and somehow he gets very happy when he sees the two beds apart and the bed tables right where they are supposed to be. Not that it necessarily means anything.

"Tommy here?" a little secret smile runs over Isaac's lips before he answers.

"Nope, getting me some greasy food and a couple of beers to repair from the hangover, the least he can do for getting me THAT drunk last night!" Adam turns around and stares at Isaac, who thinks Adam looks like he is contemplating on something very important.

"Can I talk to you?…. About Tommy?" he looks a little like it was painful to ask, like he crossed some very clear lines in the sand. Isaac furrows his brows, thinking about how to answer.

"It depends…." He gestures with his hand letting Adam know he can sit down on the bed.

"You are free to talk Adam, I will listen….. but don't ask me to….. "

"I won't, I don't want you to betray his trust….ever," Isaac nods.

"Then we are on the same page,"

Isaac sits down beside Adam. He is doing his patience thing again, just waiting for Adam to spill the reason why he is there. Adam looks a little nervous, which make Isaac happy; maybe he actually succeeded in rattling his cage a little yesterday.

"I don't know where to begin…. It would help me so much if only I knew how much he tells you…." Adam palmed his face. "Damn it, sometimes he make my head spin.." Isaac notices Adam tense before asking the next question.

"Are you guys….. fooling around? I mean, I know that basically it is none of my business…but are you?" the last part of the question came out almost as a whisper. Isaac was having victory dance in his head, which made it kinda hard to stay still. But he does.

"You're right! None of your business! It is not like 'the property of Adam Lambert' is tattooed on that none existing ass! Tommy is one of my closest friends, he is…Tommy. The most touchy feely guy I have ever met next to you, that is, but…. No Adam, we are not fooling around but I guarantee you that if I was the gay one here, I would get me some of that cute ass, because that guy is a keeper if I ever saw one," Adam raises his head and seeks Isaac's eyes. Isaac sees the vulnerability in Adam's and reaches out to put a hand on Adam's knee.

"Oh….. but Tommy isn't gay, he is just… I don't know… such a kitty," Adam says, his brain feels like goo, and he tries so hard to come up with a coherent thought. But his brain just won't collaborate. It is so fucking frustrating when that happens. Isaac decides it is time for asking questions himself.

"Have you ever asked Tommy… if he finds guys attractive?" Adam looks stunned.

"No, but I have never heard him talk about guys like that and when we first met he was dating a chick."

"That is like reading a book by its cover! You KNOW Tommy, he hate labels. He told me you know, about the agreement you two made, the boundaries of your friendship, not letting it go any further," Adam dropped his jaw, he could literally feel it hit his chest.

"Why did you guys do that, if you don't think Tommy is into guys?"

"Mostly, to make sure I wouldn't get hurt, I guess, I needed to make boundaries, because it really doesn't make sense falling for the straight boy. Major heartache potential there! And Tommy is a guy I could fall in love with big time…. And I needed him to feel safe, so he wouldn't think… I don't know. I just wanted to make sure that, me loving him was safe! That he didn't owe me anything. Because that is how he is… he thinks weird stuff up in his head, he just wants everybody to be happy and he fucking gets out of his way sometimes to please others. I didn't want him to give away something that didn't belong to me," Isaac cut of Adam's rambling with a pat on his knee; Adam raised his eyes, meeting Isaac's.

"Could or did?"

"HUH," Adam looked puzzled. What was he talking about? Isaac frowned and explained.

"Could you or did you fall for him Adam?" once again shock stroke Adam, Isaac had never been so direct before. And honestly he didn't know what to do with it. Adam is a pretty open guy but sometimes things are better left unsaid. If you say it out loud you have to deal. But he could see that Isaac was pretty damn serious. He wanted a straight and honest answer.

Isaac's phone signaled an incoming text, he looked at the message, and sighed.

"He is back in a minute, and judging by the look on your face Adam, you are not ready to answer that question. But let me tell you this… if you're in love with him, DO something about it. If you're not…. don't play with him if you don't mean it, that's just cruel….. and don't tell him about your dates…. I am pretty damn sure he doesn't tell you about his sex life. If he can keep it under the radar, then I'm sure you can too!" Adam had no idea how to respond to that, and he didn't get a chance to get his brain wrapped around what Isaac had said, because they could hear Tommy at the door, hollering at Isaac to open the door because he had his hands full off junk food. Isaac gave Adam his best `you-better-behave´ look when he opened the door for Tommy. Adam nodded. They understood each other.

Tommy hurried into the room. The scent of burgers and fries following him, he put down the bags and the six pack and turned to face Isaac….. and Adam? Tommy's face lit up, and he felt those damn butterflies flash a little in his stomach, damn it he couldn't help himself.

"Hey Babyboy, missed me so much that you couldn't wait for me to come by later?" Tommy's eyes show how happy he is to see him. Adam shrugs his shoulders; Isaac's words are still messing around with his ability to speak. And he really tries to get it together, he does. But then Tommy comes closer, tilting his head and his brown eyes search Adam's blue for answers to Adam's loss of words. He let his knuckles caress Adam's cheek.

"Something wrong? Adam?" Adam really can't speak, he feels like Tommy invades every part of his being, his heart is pounding so fucking loud in his chest, that he is sure Tommy can hear it. So he just shakes his head, and pulls his eyes away from Tommy's. He tries to put all of his focus on Isaac.

"So, I will leave you guys to eat and recover. See you at sound check," he thanks god for the return of his voice and heads for the door, he needs to get out of this room, right now. He doesn't get far though. Tommy's long fingers snatch around his wrist. His thumb moves ever so lightly over Adam's pulse.

"You're sure? Are we fine?" Tommy's eyes filled with concern and questions, lots and lots of questions. Adam feels like he is going to choke on the words he is about to speak, because they are not fine, not at all. He is scared senseless.

"Uh huh, we're good," and then he is out the door.

"What the fuck was that about?" Tommy mumbles to himself.

He slowly moves towards the food, his head filled with confusion, he grabs the bag and unpacks it, making sure that Isaac gets what he wanted, pops the beer and take and swallow three times before putting it down again. Isaac just waits for his reaction, knowing it will come. Tommy eats and doesn't say a word. He suddenly looks up, starring at the door.

"Shit! He fucking knows! FUCK. Isaac what did you do? What the hell did you say?" Tommy looked hurt and a little relieved. Isaac kinda knew he would be. Carrying around a secret like Tommy's gets to you one way or the other.

"I asked him an important question. And I told him that he should not play with others feelings. Nothing more than that,"

Tommy was gnawing on his lip. He was thinking Isaac could almost hear the wheels in his brain turning. He got off the bed, sighed heavily and looked at Isaac. Determination was written all over his face.

"I need to go fix this, don't go anywhere, might need you to pick up the pieces later!" the door closes behind him.

Tommy rushes down the hallway; his head is filled with different outcomes of the conversation he is about to have with Adam. When he reaches the door leading to Adam, his hand curls up and he knocks three times, hard. God, he just wants this to be over with, he has no idea what he is going to say, just got to play it by ear he figures. He desperately needs to fix this no matter how, they can't be awkward like this, they just can't. But he was so not ready for what happened.

The person answering the door wasn't Adam. It was the blond from yesterday. It hit Tommy like a sledge hammer. He felt how the air got kicked out of his lungs, as his hand dropped along his side.

Sauli smiled to Tommy, opening the door wide. He reached out his hand to Tommy, but Tommy didn't take it. Not because he wanted to be impolite, he just didn't know how to react.

"Hi, you're Tommy, right? I am Sauli, come on in. Adam is in the shower, but he will be right out," he gestured with his hand, inviting Tommy in.

Tommy shook his head and took a step backwards.

"No, I didn't mean to interrupt, didn't realize he had company, I'm sorry," Tommy turned. The only thing in his head was to get the hell out of there. But Sauli's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Don't be silly, and you know he will not appreciate it if I tell him you were here and left without seeing him, please come in,"

Tommy looked at the other man for a second or maybe a minute, he didn't know, but Sauli took his arm and dragged him inside Adam's hotel room. Then he went through the room and knocked on the bathroom door as he announced that Adam had a guest.

Tommy stood as a paralyzed rapid deer caught in the headlight of a car. He just wanted to disappear into the thin air. Sauli returned to Tommy and gently guided him to the couch. Tommy slowly sat down, still thinking about ways to get the hell out. Fuck his life, fuck it twice; this was his damn luck.

Sauli sat down next to him, eyeing him. And since it was pretty clear that Tommy wasn't the one to start the conversation he decided to break the awkward silence.

"Adam tells me great things about you, so easy to hear how much you mean to him. I am pleased to finally meet you," Tommy shot a shy look in his direction and bit his lip, damn it he wasn't good at this, making small talk.

"yeah?... nice to meet you too," that wasn't the entire truth, but then again what the hell was he supposed to say? Sauli sneaked a peak at the bathroom door. Adam had said that Tommy wasn't the most talkative guy on the planet, but this was getting a bit awkward.

The silence between them grew stronger and Tommy started to fiddle with the hem of his t-shirt. This was going to kill him, he had no idea what to say to Adam, and it sure as hell didn't help that there was a third person there. Finally Adam came out; he was humming a song but stopped as he saw who was there. He really didn't expect the guest to be Tommy. Trouble.

Tommy got on his feet, when he saw the look on Adam's face, clearly he wasn't the person Adam wanted to see right now.

"I am sorry Adam, I just wanted to talk to you, but you have company and I just need to get out of the way so…. I guess we can talk later… in the bus or something," Sauli interrupted, he didn't exactly know what was going on but it was clear as crystal to him that these two needed to talk things over. The tension in the room was so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

"I am gonna go for a walk, I will be back in 30 minutes or so, talk to each other," he picked a jacket up from the back of a chair and began putting it on. Tommy panicked.

"No really, we can talk later, don't want to mess up the time you two have left, it is fine…..really,"

Sauli carefully smiled at Tommy.

"Tommy, I don't know what this is about….. but friendships are forever, lovers, well they come and go. The priority is you guys, okay?" he turned to look at Adam and gave him a little wave.

"Half an hour, and I will be back?" Adam nodded keeping his eyes on Sauli until the door was closed after him.

Adam didn't want to look at Tommy; he really didn't want to deal with all of the confusion and want he felt towards Tommy at this moment. Tommy felt like he had to do something, anything. Just to get some of the tension out of the room. He was gnawing on a chipped nail and trying to come up with a smart comment to deflate the giant elephant in the room, when Adam finally looked at him. Tommy took a step closer to Adam and then stopped. They were standing like this for a long time, neither one of them sure how to open up. Adam caved to the silence first.

"Why are you here Tommy? And please don't bullshit me," Tommy's breath hitched. He felt like somebody slapped him across the face. He swallowed hard. Guarded, he searched Adam's face for some kind of affection, but whatever he was feeling or thinking he was hiding it pretty damn well.

"I just….well it is MY problem, not yours. I'll be okay, all I ever want for you are to be happy, and if he makes you happy, then I will learn to love him too, or I hope I will," Confusion and frustration ran over Adam's face.

"What are you talking about Tommy?" Tommy took a step more towards Adam. Damn he needed to feel Adam close to him, and it was such a bad idea, so God damn self-destructive so once again he stopped in his tracks.

"ME, felling all these stupid things! But I will get it under control again, it just threw me out of orbit for a while, that you found a boyfriend. Just don't worry about it, I will be fine. Just need a little time to adjust, that's all," Adam felt his heart drop to his stomach, was he actually saying what he thought? He looked at Tommy; he looked so uncomfortable and was it stubbornness he saw?

"So you have….feelings for me?" Tommy nodded.

"What kind of feelings?" Adam asked. Damn his stomach was curling up into a big fucking knot.

"Does it matter?" Tommy looked away, suddenly finding the carpet very interesting.

"Yes Tommy, it does," He felt like he's entire being depended on the answer.

"Can't you just leave it? please?" Tommy squirmed under Adam's gaze, fuck him; did he really need to jump on his heart too? So not fair.

"No Tommy I can't, I just found somebody pretty amazing and I can't throw it all away because you…" Adam wanted to explain so much, that he was scared of how Tommy made him feel, that he wanted Tommy, desperately and had for a long time, but the words escaped him. Either that or he just didn't have the courage to put it all on a line.

"Never asked you to!" Tommy sounded frustrated, even annoyed.

Adam closed the gap between them. Tommy felt the warmth coming from Adam, his scent filled his nostrils and he let it intoxicate him. This was all kinds off bad. He tried to move away but Adam put a finger under his chin, lifting it, demanding eye contact, holding Tommy back, not by force, but by pure presence.

"But….. why did you just tell me….." Adam fought to find the right words, but Tommy's eyes nearly killed him. He looked so vulnerable.

"Because I couldn't keep it together yesterday… and because the way you behaved before….. I kinda figured you found out," there you go! Have it all. You fucking own me. Asshole.

"So Isaac…. Tommy, are you attracted to men?" Adam didn't actually know if he wanted to know the answer to that question, it could be a fucking Pandora's box. What would he actually do if Tommy one day felt in love with another man….

"Not in general, no," Adam didn't realize he had been holding his breath before it came out all shattered.

"So….. that makes me?" Adam felt how drawn he was to those fucking kissable lips of Tommy's.

"Uh huu," Tommy sucked his lower lip in and started chewing on it. The sight nearly pushed Adam over the cliff.

"I really want to kiss you right now, can I?" Tommy put his forehead on Adam's shoulder, and without thinking about it his arms were around Adam's waist. Adam pulled him a little closer, and closed his eyes as he rested his head against Tommy's.

"No, bad idea, I'm kinda trying to recover, remember? And beside you have a responsibility towards Sauli," the muffled sound of Tommy's voice sounded fragile. Adam frowned at that statement, he had what he always wanted in his arms right now, and letting that go again was….. pretty damn hard. Even though, he was terrified of holding on to it as well. Life sometimes is a cold hearted bitch.

"I know but –" Tommy cut him off.

"No 'buts' Adam, maybe it's a good thing that tour is almost over, I need some time without you in my face, because I need you to keep being my friend. I want you to always be a part of my life, and right now that just feels like a struggle," Adam felt his heart shatter; Tommy needing space, that much was nearly too much to handle. But maybe space wasn't such a bad thing. If Tommy seriously meant that this was just a phase….. then maybe they both needed to back off a little.

"What about the last couple of shows? Do you want," Tommy interrupted again, trying to convince Adam that everything was fine, that he was fine. God, how he hoped that for once, he could pull off a lie.

"No, not at all. We don't change a thing, I'll be fine. We have been doing it forever, it's not a problem," Thank god that Adam wasn't looking at him. Adam's fingers ran over Tommy's hair and down to his neck. Tommy gritted his teeth, doing his best to suppress a shiver.

"Okay," Adam felt defeated.

"I need to get back to Isaac, he is waiting for me," Tommy tried to release himself from Adam, but Adam just holds him tighter. He doesn't want to let go. He has the feeling that if he let him go now, then he will never get him back. And Adam isn't ready to deal with that thought.

"Tommy," it comes out as a whispered plea. Tommy sighs violently; he moves his hands onto Adam's chest, resting them. The plea in Adam's voice is doing all kind of stupid things to his already abused heart, and right now he hates Adam for that. For the power to give him hope when he knows it isn't real. He just needs to get back to Isaac. He needs to hide from the rest of the world. He needs somebody to take care of him for once. He tries one more time, and his voice begs.

"Adam you have to let me go,"

"Don't wanna," Adam knows he is being selfish, and he hates that, but he just can't let go. He can't, it is as simple as that.

"Let. Me. Go." Tommy pushes against Adam's chest, first gentle, but when Adam doesn't let go, he puts his arms into it. Letting Adam know he means business.

Adam loosens up his hold on Tommy, but lets a hand take a firmly grip around Tommy's hand. The door opens and Sauli pops his head in, finding out if it is okay to come in. Tommy smiles a little sad smile and with a look on Sauli he says in a soft tone.

"He is all yours, thank for giving us the time to sort things out," Adam tries to hold on to Tommy's hand just for a second longer, but he pulls it away and hurries out the door. Adam feels like he just lost the best fucking thing in the world, when he hears the door close behind Tommy.

Tommy walks through the empty hallway, feeling almost numb. So now the cat is out off the bag. Now it is time to move on, pity he has no idea how to. He reaches his own door and goes inside. He closes the door and lean his back on it, gliding down until he hits the ground. Isaac sits down beside him. He looks at Tommy but for once Tommy's face doesn't show his feelings. So Isaac asks while keeping his voice light.

"So did you fix things?"

"Yeah, I told him that I am okay, that he doesn't need to worry. I will get a hold of myself and stop being an asshole to him, I even told him I will make an effort to becoming a friend to Sauli, so we're good. Just need a little time to recover from whatever this is…" Tommy sends Isaac a slight smile.

Isaac doesn't know what to say but damn it he gets frustrated. He gets on his feet and look down at Tommy.

"Are you telling me that you guys aren't together now? Did he turn you down…for real Tommy?" Tommy meets Isaac's glare and shrugs.

"He wanted to know my feelings and he told me that Sauli is a pretty amazing person. Which I believe…..he is with Sauli…..where he is supposed to be."

"He didn't tell you how he feels about you?" Isaac shook his head in disbelief.

"Does it matter? He is with somebody else," Tommy resigned. He didn't even want to think about that whispered `Tommy´. Isaac threw his hands in the air out of pure frustration.

"Tommy, for a bright guy, you sure set the standard for stupidity!" Tommy couldn't believe Isaac. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? He came back here for support, and this was what he got, an insult?

"What the hell man?" Isaac held out a hand for Tommy, Tommy didn't take it.

"Get up!"

"Huh?" Isaac offered Tommy his hand again, this time Tommy took it and Isaac pulled him off the floor.

"I want to show you something!" Isaac showed Tommy in the direction off the mirror.

"Look! Tell me what you see," Tommy met Isaac's look in the mirror

"What am I looking for?" Isaac sighed. Damn it he was close to giving up.

"Describe yourself!" Tommy did but still without a clue to why the fuck he was given this task. Again Isaac sighed.

"How does Sauli look? Remind you of someone? Blond, slim, half a head smaller than Adam, cheekbones…the only thing missing is the deadly brown kitty eyes!" surely the penny would drop now, right? But no, confusion was the only emotion in Tommy's eyes.

"I really don't know where you are going with this, enlighten me please!" he was getting tired of this game and just wanted to get back to licking his wounds. Isaac was just about to lose his famous patience.

"He look a lot like you Tommy, I am telling you that guy is a replacement for you! And I am sure he is a nice guy, but I really don't care. He is a substitute! You need to stop putting other people's wishes before your own and start thinking a little about yourself. You got to fight for what is yours. Stop being such a pushover Tommy, it is killing me. FIGHT FOR HIM."

Tommy turned to face Isaac; shock was probably the best way to describe his facial expression. But something began to dawn on him.

"Yeah…and that is why you set the standard for stupidity my friend."

"Oh," Tommy walked to the bed on flopped down on it, the knowledge that Isaac just passed on to him was spinning around in his head. Isaac smiled. Finally Ratliff. Finally.


	3. Chapter 3

Tommy was watching Adam saying goodbye to every single person in the Glamily, they had played in London the night before and now the band was on its way home, Adam was going to Paris with Sauli for the next fourteen days.

Tommy was relieved as well as terrified. He needed time apart from Adam, needed to figure out how to handle all these feelings, he needed to find his own two feet again, to feel in charge of his own life, but the thought of Adam, in Paris with Sauli, was so painful that he wanted to cry. Adam seemed happy which only made everything worse…. He wanted Adam happy, more than anything, but the images….

Adam was looking over the shoulders of Brooke; he had her in a tight hug. Whispering something to her, she laughed in return and let Adam go. He made his way over to Tommy, he didn't exactly know how to say goodbye to him, didn't really want to let him go back home without coming with him. Their gazes locked, Tommy's brown eyes were full of softness and something Adam couldn't put his finger on. Adam swallowed, clearing his throat before speaking. This was killing him, the thought of not being able to see Tommy when he wanted to, not feeling the tingle along his spine whenever Tommy was around, was devastating.

"Can I hug you?" Adam's voice had a fragile edge to it, like he was scared. Tommy hated that sound, it pulled at his heartstrings. He smiled softly trying to take the pain away from Adam.

"Of course you can, wouldn't want it any other way," Adam stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Tommy's shoulders. Tommy let his arms surround Adam's waist, resting his head on his chest. He could stand like this forever.

"I'm gonna miss you so much Tommy," Adam whispered.

Tommy closed his eyes, hiding. From Adam, from himself, from everything. After a minute he released his embrace and stepped back.

"You'll have fun, you'll be with Sauli," Tommy looked away searching for Isaac.

"Is it okay if I call you?" Adam took Tommy's hand, let his thumb trace over Tommy's knuckles. Tommy swallowed.

"Anytime you want," God, why did he say that. He needed to get Adam out of his mind, not endorse Adam time. Isaac was right; he sure did set the standard for stupidity. Adam tried to capture Tommy's eyes, but he kept staring away.

"Tommy…. I…." Tommy frowned, and finally he met Adam's gaze. He sighed heavily; he wanted this to be over with, he needed to be alone for a while, just him and his thoughts.

"I know Adam," he tried his best to smile, but he knew that it didn't reach his eyes and that Adam wouldn't be fooled.

"Do you? Because I really don't think you do," Adam let out a sound of frustration. How could he explain, when he didn't even know the words. How confused was he allowed to be before the world stopped turning. Damn it, Tommy made his head spin.

"Don't Adam, not now. Have fun and I will see you at Jingle Ball," Tommy gently pulled his hand from Adam's. The loss of the warm feeling from Adam's skin made his heart hurt. He should really leave, the others were watching them and Tommy didn't want to deal with nosy questions later in the airplane, no matter how well meant they were.

"Tommy…." There it was again! That plea in Adam's voice. This time it pissed Tommy off, why the hell couldn't he just let him go, why did he have to keep playing with him?

Without a look on Adam's face he turned around and left. If he had seen the expression on it, he might have saved himself from a lot of pain, but he didn't.

Tommy was in his seat on the airplane, he had got a place by the window and he was looking out without seeing a thing, his thoughts wrapped around Adam. Isaac sat down in the seat next to him. Tommy turned and smiled when he saw who I was.

"Why didn't you do as I told you, it could have been you, going to Paris with him," Whoa, in my face, why don't you? Tommy looked out the window again.

"Isaac please, I'm really not in the mood for this," Tommy sounded exhausted. Isaac just looked at him, waiting. Tommy could see him reflected in the window, he sighed. Isaac wouldn't leave it, Tommy knew that.

"Fine! What if he doesn't want me?"

"He does," Isaac smiled. Tommy turned to face him. Gotta love Isaac for his enthusiasm.

"So let's say he does. But as much as I want him, I am not sure how I would feel if I actually did get him."

"Need more info on that!... is it the sex?" Isaac looked like curiosity and genuine care was eating him up.

"No….. I mean. First it freaked me out a little, but mostly I think it was the idea of being attracted to a guy….. well it just took a little getting used to…but now I am thinking, that part will work itself out…. Sex is sex." This was so typically Tommy, that Isaac had a hard time not bursting into a laugh. But this was a time to be serious. So he creased his forehead and asked instead.

"So what's the issue?" Tommy looked at his chipped nails, they needed a repaint. He took his time before saying what was on his mind. This wasn't easy.

"How did you know that Sophie was the one, how did you know that everything was going to be okay … I don't know how to explain….. I am so scared of losing him that I will settle for friendship… what if I fuck it up? I've never been good at relationships…what if I can't make him happy? Will he end up hating me then?" Isaac sighed, damn you Tommy Joe. This is just dumb.

"So we're back to you not being good enough," sounded a little annoyed.

"No, but what scares me is what happens if there is no 'happily ever after', how am I supposed to survive that when I can barely breathe now and I only left him thirty minutes ago?" Tommy palmed his face, admitting that this was how he felt, even to Isaac was like pulling teeth out.

"There are no promises to life Tommy; you can't go through life being scared of living it….. Okay you wanna know about me and Sophie….. I was scared too, but the thought of being without her was so much worse that the thought of commitment. And then you work on keeping it good and real, I'm not gonna lie, sometimes it is hard. Fucking hard, but mostly it is pretty spectacular! I love her, it is that simple," Tommy raised his head and saw the love Isaac is feeling for Sophie in his face. It made Tommy smile, feel good. This is what he wants, to feel at ease with love and relationship.

"God Isaac, I think I am in love with him, like really, really in love with him!" He just said it! God it was out there now.

"YOU THINK, WOW! DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING!" Isaac laughed loudly.

"Don't be an ass," Tommy did his best to look hurt, but damn it felt good to joke about it. Liberating.

"You really didn't realize before, did you?" Isaac asked with a kind smile in his eyes.

"Well, it is the first time I say it out loud!" This was a huge deal and Isaac knew that.

"So…. How does it feel?…To say it?"

"Don't know. I will have to come back with an answer to that later. Now, leave me the fuck alone!" Tommy was half serious and half joking about it, Isaac realized that too. He tussled Tommy's hair and left him to his own thoughts.

The next two weeks, Adam calls Tommy every day. They talk about everything and nothing; the only thing that never gets mentioned is the third person standing between them, or the feelings that are eating them both up. Talk about a huge pink elephant in the room. Tommy tweets Adam when he hears about the Grammy nomination but otherwise he does his best to not think about Adam.

The thing is that Tommy longed for those conversations, for Adam's voice. He craved those precious minutes that easily turned into half an hour. But he also feared them, the feeling off loss that follows them. Because when they end Tommy feels so alone. So he decides to go see some old friends, it would be good for him. Catching up. And it is, he feels how he settles in his own skin again, feels free to breathe again.

Tommy is spending his day with an old friend. Anne. They have been talking about everything that has been going on in their lives the last six month except Tommy's feelings for Adam. They've watched movies while talking and cuddling. It feels good to be near somebody again, safe. It feels good to be the one a warm body cuddles against, even though it hasn't been his position over the last half year.

They totally lose track of time, but that is very much them. They are just caught up in that special place their friendship is. At some point Tommy's stomach begins to growl, Anne laughs and looks at the clock on her wrist. It is late. Very late, no wonder they are hungry. They set off to the kitchen, Anne has promised to make tacos, her specialty. Tommy promised to help – well at least to set the table. And now he is in trouble, big trouble, he promised her candlelight earlier, it is an old joke from when they first met, and she will never forgive him if he doesn't find those damn candles. He is roaming through his drawers swearing and giggling like an insane person, because there will be hell to pay if he doesn't find them, he hears the phone, doesn't even think about it before shouting.

"Can you _please_ answer that? Kinda busy here!"

"Sure, just find them, or I will fucking send you to the store for some," she laughs as she takes Tommy's phone off the kitchen table. She looks at the display. Adam.

"I know! I'm sure they…" Tommy smiles while he opens another one to go through. Damn it he was sure they were supposed to be there.

"Tommy's phone, this is Anne." Her voice is filled with laughter as her eyes follow Tommy around.

"Hello….Adam here…..is Tommy…" Adam's voice is soft and a little unsure.

"Hi Adam. Heard sooo much about you. Nice to finally talk to you!" Tommy yanks his head up and looks at Anne. Adam. How could he forget it was about that time? Anne gestures at him letting him know she wants him to continue the hunt for candles.

"He will be ready to talk in a minute, that is when he has found candles AND makes them shine beautifully on the table," She said with a sugar-coated voice while eyeing Tommy, willing him to go on; he sighs and picks up the chase.

"Oh…Candles?" Adam asked guardedly.

"Hmhmm. You know when a girl cooks for you, the least you can do is make sure she gets a little candlelight," the laugher in her voice is catchy and Adam sounds entertained and withdrawn at the same time. Like he really can't believe what he is hearing.

"That sounds about right…..what time is it?..."

"Close to midnight," Anne smiles and it travels overseas to Adam.

"Kinda late for dinner, isn't it?" the guarded tone is back, but Anne doesn't know Adam, so she doesn't hear it. Instead she goes on with laughter.

"Not when you're a vampire!"

"Sweetie you lost me!" Adam smiles a little, she can hear that.

"Tommy's sleep rhythm is like mine… we used to say we were vampires! And we kinda lost track of time earlier, and now we're hungry, I'm making the poor boy tacos, gonna win him back after you had him for six month in Europe!" she looks at Tommy, that victoriously holds up two candles. She gives him a thumb up. He goes to put them on the table.

"That'll do the trick," Adam assures her. And this time, she hears that the laugher is gone.

"I know, he is so easy. He will never know what hit him. But I am willing to share when you get back home, I'm not possessive!" she tries to explain, trying to get the smile back in his voice.

"I'm sure…."

The candles are now lighting up and Tommy is reaching out to get his phone, he almost looks demanding.

"Oh, here is your boy," she hands over the phone.

Tommy's voice is low and almost seductive when he finally talks to Adam. He can't help it, just the mental picture of Adam almost make him purr.

"Hey Adam," Anne sends him a puzzled look. This was unexpected.

"Hi Tommy, having fun?" Adam sounds a little sarcastic but Tommy ignores it. He is happy, and he doesn't want that ruined.

"Yeah, it's good catching up. Missed her bony ass, AND cooking, something about a girl that knows the way around my kitchen." He blows Anne a kiss as he says that. Tommy's happiness doesn't go unattended. Adam is almost hissing. Because it fucking hurts.

"So you're dating?"

"I wouldn't call it a date," Tommy is still smiling, he senses the jealousy, doesn't exactly recognize it, but sense it. The kitchen is filled with delicious scents, he is a little tipsy, he is with Anne and Adam fucking Lambert on the phone, life doesn't get much better than this.

"Oh,"

Tommy doesn't quite know what that means, so he let it pass and instead he asks.

"When are you back, tomorrow? Do you need a lift from the airport?"

"No, I'm fine. Lane got it under control….. I miss you," Adam sounds like he actually does, because his voice gets intense, bringing Tommy a tingling feeling along his spine, he shivers.

"Miss you too," Tommy clearly can't hide the way he feels, because Anne sends him a certain look as she offers him a spoon with her homemade taco filling.

"Have a taste! Is it good?" she demands in a low voice as she eyes him suspiciously. Tommy opens his mouth and let her feed him. His eyes roll in awe.

"Mmmm, oh God I am never letting you out of here again. Sooooo good," She leaves to turn off the heat and transfer the dinner on to plates.

"Busy?" Adam asks and there it is, the jealousy. Tommy hears it loud and clear. He smiles and butterflies fill his stomach. He will see Adam tomorrow, and Adam is fucking jealous. Life could after all get better.

"Kinda," he says because it is the truth, not because he wants to play any games.

"I'm gonna let you get back to Anne then, maybe I get to meet her someday?" Adam says trying to sound cool about the whole thing, failing miserably.

"Tomorrow actually! She is coming with me," They had made plans for that earlier tonight; when Tommy was sure he needed somebody to take his focus away from Adam. He didn't need to make a fool off himself, again.

"I see…." Adam says.

"Doubt that!" Tommy whispers to himself.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. I'll see you tomorrow, can't wait," That is the `honest to God´ the truth.

"Me too," Adam ends the conversation. Tommy almost wants to kiss the fucking phone, because there was something about the way that Adam sounded tonight that really set his body on fire.

They don't see each other at all before they have to get on stage. Tommy is nervous, and he doubts the feeling that he got after talking to Adam yesterday. Maybe Adam was just tired, maybe it didn't mean anything. At all.

Tommy feels like he is losing his mind. He is so close to him and can't touch. That kills him, and turns him on, so very much. He hates this, doing Fever and not getting to kiss, if he just had been able to enjoy one fucking kiss, he would survive. The fact that they haven't talked before the show, haven't even giving each other a hug, makes Tommy all tense and jumpy. When they get off the stage, Tommy hurries to find Anne, before he does something utterly stupid, like throw himself at Adam. He fucking needs a hug and some reassuring kind words. She got the whole Adam story during dinner yesterday and she will make him feel better. Put some fucking courage in his twisted heart to do this the right way.

Adam is right behind Tommy, trying to stop him before he runs off, but he stops when Tommy pull a girl into his arms. She looks at him with so much love and care and hugs him back with dedication. He tells her something and she releases her grip on him, look over his shoulder and smiles at Adam. She says something to Tommy that Adam can't hear, he nods and leaves her. She walks toward Adam with warm expression on her face.

"Hi Adam," she offers him her hand, he takes it.

"Hello, you must be Anne!" she nods.

"So where did Tommy go? He was running of like the devil was on his tail," Adam tries to laugh, but even though Anne doesn't know him, he can't pull it off.

"He wanted to change, but I am sure he would love it if you had the time to go say hi, he missed you, you know?" Adam tilts his head, looking somewhat suspicious.

"How long have you two known each other?"

"Don't know, maybe ten years. Why?"

"Just asking, you seem close," she smiles. Tommy wasn't alone in this, that's for sure.

"We are! But don't worry, I'm not a threat. Been there. Done that. Better off as friends," Adam's lips curve up a bit. God, was he what transparent and glasslike? Oh what the fuck, maybe he hadn't lost Tommy completely. And that would be pretty awesome.

"Go. Say hi. I'll go meet the others," And then she was gone.

Tommy hears the knock on the door. He expects it to be Anne so he just yells that the door is open. She has seen him half naked before, hell naked before. Not a problem. But fuck, it wasn't Anne entering the room. It was Adam.

Adam closes the door behind him, a little click made it terrifyingly clear to Tommy that they were alone, in a small room. He swallows as they stare at each other.

"Hi," the sound coming from Adam's lips is hoarse.

"Hi," Tommy tears his gaze away looking for his t-shirt because he suddenly feels naked, even though it is the only piece of clothes missing. Adam's gaze wanders down every line of Tommy. God damn, he is beautiful. Tommy finds his shirt and pulls it over his head and as his fingers runs down his stomach to straighten the shirt out, his eyes meet Adam's again. They are burning in a darker shade of blue that he has ever seen, and it's making Tommy tremble. He bites his lips and shifts his weight, feeling uneasy. Adam follows every little movement. Fuck it, fuck being scared, fuck that they have to work together, fuck Sauli. Fuck it all.

In a blink of an eye Adam is holding Tommy's face between his hands and he moves Tommy's face upwards. Tommy licks his lips again; the anticipation of what to come is so overwhelming that he can't move. Adam lowers down and finally their lips brush, it is gentle and searching, Adam is asking for permission, and who is Tommy to deny. Adam let his tongue trail along the curve of a lip. A moan escapes and Tommy loses it, no longer frozen, he claims Adam's mouth, sucking and licking. The kiss gets wet and sloppy as their hands roam across bodies. Adam pushes Tommy against the wall and Tommy tries to get even closer, pushing a leg between Adam's. Tommy is so turned on that the only thing in his hazy mind is that Adam clearly feels the same need. Because that is Adam's hard on rubbing against his own and fuck that feels so good. Adam breaks the kiss to explore Tommy's neck. Littering kisses everywhere. Tommy's fingers are in Adam's hair tucking gently, leading the way.

"God, I've missed you the last fourteen days," Adam whispers. And that is when sanity kicks in. Tommy's fried brain start to function again, and he let go off Adam's hair. Instead, he puts his hands on Adam's chest, pushes him back a little, trying to capture Adam's eyes. He succeeds and Adam looks confused and impatient.

"What?" Adam asks softly as he tries to get back to kissing Tommy's neck. Tommy holds him back and in a quiet voice he asks.

"Sauli?" Adam tense immediately and he won't meet Tommy's gaze. Tommy closes his eyes, he need to be sure; it is all or nothing, so he asks.

"Did you break it off, Adam?" when Adam doesn't answer, he opens his eyes and search Adam's face for the answer. Adam feels more than sees Tommy's look and he knows that he messed up pretty bad. Tommy moves away and crosses his arms across his scrawny chest, he bites his lip again.

"Adam?" it is Adam's turn to hide behind closed eyes, he fucking hates himself right now.

"I…" but he knows there is no way to explain it to Tommy.

Tommy walks towards the door, turn the door knob and push it up.

"Get out," Adam opens his eyes. They are filled with sadness.

"Tommy I.." Tommy won't look at him, can't, that is.

"Get out Adam, now," Adam sighs and slowly he walks out, leaving his heart behind. Tommy closes the door and sinks down to the floor, and for the first time he lets himself cry because of Adam.


	4. Chapter 4

Tommy is so hurt and in pieces that there is no hiding it. The entire band and crew knows now. And as the caring family members they are, they form a protective ring around Tommy, they take care of him, comfort him and they always seem to be right there whenever Adam is near. They take care of Adam too, but in a different way. There is no right or wrong here, just love for two persons in a fucked up situation.

That is the way they get through the last two shows, and they seem happy on stage, maybe they even are, it is the place to pretend, so they do. But afterwards it hurts even more. And none of the guys know how they are gonna deal with time without each other or the Glamily, so they try to ignore the fact that Christmas is catching up on them fast. At some point Adam realizes that he has to get some alone time with Tommy to save what is left, so he comes up with a way to make that happen.

He closes the door behind him; his heart is pounding in its cage. He is scared of Tommy's reaction, scared of hurting him all over again. Scared of getting hurt himself, but this is something that needs to be done, before it is too late.

Tommy is sitting on a chair, pulling his boot on, he looks up when he hears the door close. Adam. Tommy stops and meet Adam's gaze. Damn it, this was supposed to get better, but the kiss they just shared on stage is still lingering on his lips, the scent of Adam still caught in his nostrils. And the fact that it isn't going to happen again anytime soon is… He can't shake it off, and frankly he is getting tired of it. Love wasn't meant to be like this, was it? If that is the case, he wished he wouldn't have had that insane meeting with cupid's arrow. Adam fiddles with his fingers.

"We need to talk Tommy." Tommy nods; this probably can't be avoided any longer.

"Yeah, I know,"

Adam walks over to Tommy and kneels down before him. He wants to take Tommy's hand in his but that is a bad idea, so he doesn't.

"I need to ask you something,"

"Go on,"

"Do you think we can save this?…..can we be friends again? The way we used too?" Adam's blue eyes are filled with concern and Tommy can see he is hurting too. Complete honesty is the only way to get back on track, Tommy realizes that.

"Adam….. I… it is gonna take me awhile okay? Apparently falling out of love is a hell of a lot harder than falling in…..so please give me some time," Tommy let out a sad little laugh. He gave everything away there, but Adam is so focused on Tommy's lips that he misses it.

"So you think we can?" he has to ask, because fuck, it messes with him to be this close to Tommy.

"Maybe not as we used to. You have Sauli now and it isn't good for me, to be as close as we used too. But I can't imagine not being a part of each other's life. Can you?"

Adam shakes his head; thank God that Tommy isn't going to leave him all together. Now, he just needs to know exactly when he is going to see him again. That way he can handle the distance, or at least he thinks so.

"Will I see you at New Years? Will you come to my party?" Adam's eyes beg for a positive answer.

"Of course," Tommy closes his eyes, this is hard, so fucking hard. Adam sees that.

"Time?" Adam asks.

"Yeah, time," Adam get up and with a long look on Tommy, he leaves. Tommy put his face in his palms, and right there he promises himself that it is time to move on. He has to let Adam go. And he needs to find happiness for himself, starting with today.

So when he shows up for Adam's New Year's party, he brings a date, he sure a fuck isn't going to stand and watch Adam kiss Sauli at midnight. He is done torturing himself.

Adam doesn't comment on the girl, he just accepts her presence, he knows he has no right to feel the jealousy burning in him. So he doesn't show it, instead he decides to be the best fucking host in the whole god damn world.

Isaac pulls Tommy aside staring at him, "What the hell TJ? For real? It isn't like you playing fucked up games," his voice leaves no questions about how disappointed he is with Tommy.

"Not playing," Tommy defends himself.

"Then what is that chick doing here?" Isaac makes a suggestive bob with his head.

"She is my date!" Isaac just glares at him, waiting for Tommy to come up with something better.

"I'm trying to move on here, would you cut me some slack?" Tommy is getting angry, he doesn't need this bullshit.

"What the hell happened to fighting for him?" Isaac asks. Tommy resigns.

"He is happy, let's leave it with that,"

"Happy? God you are blind," disbelieve is unmasked in his voice.

"No, just…..tired of feeling this way and trying to find my way out," Tommy really sounds exhausted.

"Tommy," Isaac sounds sorry now. Tommy turns his back on him and waves a hand in frustration.

"Whatever dude,"

The girl is good company, she is sweet, interesting to talk to and sexy as hell, and as the evening reaches the magic time where an old worn-out year turns into a brand new, Tommy doesn't mind kissing her at all. He doesn't exactly feel fireworks going off either, but what the fuck. Rebounds aren't supposed too, are they?

Adam's eyes keep wander in Tommy's direction and Sauli can't help but to notice. Nobody wants to be the second best, so being an honest and upfront person he confronts Adam the next day.

"What is it with you and Tommy? Are you in love with him Adam?"

"No, I just…" Adam squirms a little under Sauli's gaze.

"Adam please, be honest with me, I don't want to fall for a guy that is hung up on another. Don't drag me around like that, I deserve better," Adam sighs, he does, and he knows that. He fucking knows that. But he really doesn't want to go down that road.

"Do we really need to do this now?"

"I think so," Sauli just keep looking at Adam, no judgment in his eyes. He just wants an answer. Adam caves. Maybe it is about time.

"Tommy is… the fucking man of my dreams, but there are so many reasons why I can't be with him,"

"Like what?" this is one of the amazing things about Sauli, he is a friend too. And he wants to know Adam's reasons, because they are Adam's and he cares.

"He isn't really gay, you know? And even though he has feelings…. Or had as it seems to be, I fucked things up pretty damn bad, like totally. I blew it," Sauli smiled a little at that.

"Does he know how you feel about him, have you told him,"

"Not exactly, no point to now, I guess….." Adam palmed his face.

"Why?"

"Because he clearly moved on," Adam thought that was pretty obvious since he was all over that girl yesterday.

"That wasn't what I saw," Sauli says

"No?" hope emerges in Adam's voice.

"No," Sauli looks at Adam, sees the hope that statement brings.

"Adam, how many times in life do you come across the man of your dreams?" Adam shrugs.

"Go get him! Don't worry about me, I'm still your friend, just without benefits now as it is," Sauli smiles a reassuring smile and gestures at the door. Letting Adam know that now, would be a perfect moment to act on his emotions.

And hour later, Adam is pounding at Tommy's front door. Mike opens in a pair of boxers and a frown. Adam pushes past him without an invite to come in. No time to waste, this is fucking important. And has to be done before he loses his nerves.

"Tommy?" God, he just needs to see him, like now! Mike shakes his head trying to clear the fog of sleep.

"In his room sleeping," Adam immediately walks towards Tommy room. Mike tries to stop him.

"Adam I wouldn't go in the…re," too late.

Adam opens the door. He is half the way to the bed before he realizes that Tommy isn't the only one lying in it. Adam stops, paralyzed. He doesn't even think about the fact that he was sharing a bed with Sauli this very morning, at all. He just feels betrayed.

He actually brought her back home? What the fuck Tommy. He almost says it out loud, the only reason that he doesn't is because he can't. His throat is dry as hell and he feels like every breath is a struggle.

He slowly takes a step back, and another, without taking his eyes off Tommy. He looks peaceful with his ridiculously long lashes fanned out on his cheeks. He has one arm around the girl's waist, one above her head. The comforter is covering them but Adam can see that Tommy has a leg over hers as well. Adam takes another step backwards and stumbles on something. The noise wakes the girl, Adam can't for his life remember her name, and decides that it doesn't matter at all. She looks at him puzzled.

"Adam?" clearly she remembers his. But Adam doesn't feel like giving into a guilt trip. She is in Tommy's bed for fucks sake.

"Yeah, don't mind me I was just leaving, didn't realize he had company," she smiles and strokes Tommy's arm gently.

"Babe, Adam is here," Tommy grunts and snuggles a little closer. Adam take another step backwards, he is almost out now. Tommy opens his eyes, blinks. The light is hurting his eyes and he doesn't really believe what he sees. Adam? He rubs his eyes and whispers.

"Adam?" Adam feels trapped,

"Yeah, I didn't… I just needed to talk to you."

"Oh," Tommy rolls over, turning his back on Adam as he let his legs drop to the floor, he pushes himself up in sitting position, taking the comforter with him, the girl yanks it back.

"Hey, naked here!" Tommy reaches backwards and puts a hand on her hip and pats it.

"Sorry,"

Adam tries desperately to look away but his eyes are drawn to Tommy. It doesn't matter that he is screaming on the inside and he feels like he is going to bleed out here in Tommy's doorframe. He fucking can't look away. Tommy bend over searching for his underwear and t-shirt, he finds the briefs first and pull them on. Adam almost moans out loud at the sight. Tommy turns to face Adam while he's still looking for a shirt.

"On the chair," the girl says. Tommy sends her a smile.

"Thanks!" he looks at Adam and gestures for Adam to lead the way to the living room.

Adam does as suggested.

The heartache is nearly killing him. He is jealous and angry. And the second they are in the living room he turns to watch Tommy. Tommy scratches his head, and look at Adam with a quizzical expression.

"So what's up?"

"You brought her BACK?" Adam explodes. He just can't hold it inside any longer.

"Huh?"

"You have known her for like five minutes and you take her home!" Adam takes a step towards Tommy, fire burning in his eyes.

"What the hell, Adam?" now Tommy is getting angry as well. Who the fuck does he think he is?

"I can't believe it," Adam hisses in an attempt to keep their voices down. Now Tommy is royally pissed.

"Hey, watch it. You have no fucking rights to come here pretending to be the jealous boyfriend, you gave up that right when you went to Paris with Sauli. You have a fucking boyfriend! You didn't want me!" Tommy walks over to Adam, jamming a finger into his chest. His eyes are almost black with disbelief and rage.

"Not true…." Adam tries to defend himself, but Tommy doesn't let him finish.

"Like hell it is!"

"…..And I don't have a boyfriend!" Adam continues. Tommy stops his verbal attack for a second.

"Sorry what?"

"I'm not with Sauli….. anymore," Adam says, his eyes begging Tommy to understand. But all Tommy senses is that he finally let himself move on, and this is what Adam throws at him.

"So, you thought I could be the consultation price, FUCK YOU ADAM," Tommy is yelling now, damn it he won't go through this again. Adam yells back.

"No, I came here to tell you that I love you! And this is what I find!"

"Let me ask you this! Did you leave or did he?" Tommy sighs heavily trying to calm down.

"He did, but that is not important," Adam tries to clarify

"NO? How the fuck isn't that important?" Tommy hisses.

"No, because…." Adam reaches out for Tommy's hand. Tommy pulls back.

"Don't even want to hear it," Tommy says. He turns his back on Adam and leaves him standing in the middle of the room.

"You know the way out," he says over the shoulder. He is done, he has had enough.

Adam stands there for about a minute, frozen. Mike walks over and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry man,"

"Yeah," Adam says. Fucking life is a bitch. Adam shrugs his shoulders and silently he leaves. Fuck it hurts, but what is he supposed to do?

"Hey," Mike leaned onto the doorframe, looking at Tommy. He is sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He doesn't look up to meet Mike's look. The girl is collecting the last of her stuff and is getting ready to leave. No point in staying, Tommy clearly isn't good company right now.

"Hey," Tommy's voice comes out low and broken.

"So he is gone now," Mike keeps looking at Tommy who doesn't seem to react. The girl leans down and kisses Tommy on the hair. And whispers a goodbye, Tommy barely notice that she leaves. Mike walks over and sits down next to Tommy.

"You do realize that he just told you that he loves you, right?" Tommy raises his head and look at him but tries to hide the fact that he is feeling angry as well as miserable. Because yeah. He does realize. Mike has known him way too long for that to succeed.

"I will fucking quote him if I need to Tommy, he just said what you have been longing to hear for God knows how long and you showed him the door? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tommy shrugs his shoulders.

"He also told me he just got dumped!"

"And?" Tommy sends Mike a glare that would make most men back down. Mike however, laughs cynically at Tommy.

"Will you get off that high horse right about now?" Tommy frowns and falls back onto the bed, and a desperate sound escapes him. He covers his eyes with an arm.

"What are you still doing here? Go after him, fix this or I will kick you where you're highest when you're picking strawberries!" Mike gets off the bed.

"I fucking mean it Tommy!"

"I know! Give me a minute asshole and then I will," Tommy pushes off the bed and finds some clean clothes and head for the bathroom. There is no chance in hell that he is showing up on Adam's God damn doorstep looking like something the cat dragged in.

"Good," Mike victoriously smiles as he leaves the room.

Tommy holds his breath in for a couple of seconds before releasing in a heavy sigh. Come on you pussy, just ring the fucking bell! His hand shakes a little as he finally gets the nerves to do so. He leans his head to the door hoping Adam isn't home but at the same time desperate for him to be.

Tommy hears noises and just in time he pulls back. The door opens and there he is, Adam fucking Lambert looking gorgeous as always but also guarded, like he is protecting himself from hoping that whatever is going to come out Tommy's mouth is going to be good.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk, please?" Tommy sneaks under Adam's arm and into the hallway uninvited. Like fuck if he is going to have this conversation in public. Adam closes the door and turns his back on it. Leaning, as if it too much effort to stand by himself.

"I thought you said what you wanted to earlier!" it comes out an accusation and it is. Tommy knows that too.

"Adam," he softly whispers. Adam meets his gaze and it is full of sadness, pain and love. Suddenly Tommy feels like the biggest asshole in the world, hell maybe even the universe. But he has to ask, he needs to know. Desperately.

"I need to know one thing," he says in a low shaky voice.

"What?" Adam sounds defensive and Tommy looks away as he asks.

"Did you mean what you said?" complete silence fills the room for a minute.

"Every word," That tone is still there so Tommy looks up, but doesn't exactly meet Adam's eyes. He is terrified to do so.

"Have I lost you? Did I go too far today?" Tommy sounds so genuinely lost and sad that Adam lets his guard down. He steps forward and cups Tommy's face with both hands, forcing Tommy to look at him.

"No of course not! I'm yours if you'll have me. I'm in love with you," Hope jolts its way into Tommy's eyes and his lips curl. Fuck he loves the sound of that. Adam pulls Tommy close and even though Tommy really want to keep staring into those pools of endless blue he closes his eyes and surrenders to Adam's kiss. And fuck! What a kiss.

Adam kisses him slowly and thoroughly, slow firm strokes against Tommy's tongue, gentle bites. My god it is sensual and sizzling, scorching hot. Tommy can barely keep himself upwards he feels like his bones left his body and he clamps on to Adam as if his fucking life depends on it. Thank God Adam seems to be able to keep them from tumbling down the fucking floor. Tommy breaks the kiss grasping for air. He can hear his own heartbeat and he is so fucking turned on that it hurts. He takes Adam's hand leading it to his dick throbbing and restrained behind way to tight pants.

"You kiss me! And this is what happens! Will you put me out of my fucking misery? Any time soon?" Adam swallows thickly and palms him. He can't believe that he is the reason for Tommy looking this needy, this sexed up. Adam put a little more pressure into it and Tommy throws his head back, his hair whips away from his face and a loud moan escapes him. Adam can't resist that exposed neck, so he licks Tommy all the way from the collar bone to the soft sensitive skin right below the ear. Tommy is panting and he trembles in Adam's arms. Adam has never seen anything this beautiful as Tommy pliant and weak in his embrace. He fucking looks like pure sex on legs.

"Please….Adam," Tommy's voice is needy and hoarse. Adam smirks against Tommy's ear; the exhalation of Adam's moist breath sends shivers down Tommy's spine. God he wants this, more than anything in his fucking life.

"Please what Tommy, what do you want?" Adam whispers into his ear, and that damn near throws Tommy over the edge. He drags Adam away from his jaw line and look into those blue, blue eyes, pupils blown wide open. Tommy loves what he sees.

"Fuck. You. I want you!" Adam dives for another mind blowing kiss. Tommy breaks it.

"Shit stop!"

"Stop?" Adam returns to littering kisses along Tommy's jaw line. He wants to taste every fucking piece of him.

"Yes, fuck, not here…." Tommy closes his eyes. Damn it is hard to concentrate like this. "You're gonna make me come like a fucking teen in my pants if we don't slow it down a bit," Adam let out a soft laugh and scrapes his teeth against Tommy's neck, making his breath hitch. Adam craves that sound.

"You got a bed right?" Tommy sincerely tries to keep it together, fighting the need for release.

"Yeah I've got a bed," Adam pulls back. A bed isn't a bad idea at all. He takes Tommy's hand and somehow they stumble their way into the bedroom. Once in, Tommy pushes Adam into the bed. Not particularly gentle but very needy.

"Tommy what the fuck?" Adam laughs. Tommy launches himself onto Adam and in a blink of an eye, he got him undressed. It is hectic and chaotic and so, so sexy. Tommy stops to stare. Adam is fucking big and Tommy feels his mouth water. He wants to taste so badly. Adam is tugging at Tommy's t-shirt. Tommy pulls it off in a frustrated movement. Adam's hands get busy with undoing Tommy's belt, but Tommy slaps his hands away.

"I wanna touch you to," Adam complains. Tommy pushes Adam down into the bed.

"Shut up, I wanna do this right!" Tommy says as pushes Adam's legs apart and settles between them. He licks his lips, not totally sure how to proceed. He shrugs his shoulders; figures that if he tries to do what usually gets him off, it will be okay. He will learn. He takes a hold of Adam, letting the feeling of Adam's cock in his fucking hand wash over him. Adam gasps and thrust his hips upwards. Tommy smirks, so far so good.

"You like that?" Tommy bows down and let his tongue trail from base to head. Adam hands turns to fists gripping the sheets tight. That is fucking Tommy Joe on his dick.

"Uh huh," is all he manages.

Tommy lazily strokes Adam as he lets his tongue explore the taste of Adam. Reality beats the shit out of fantasy, that's for sure.

"Tell me how you want it, let me know," Tommy finally close his lips around Adam and takes him in. Adam squirms under him. Tommy watches him closely. He let a hand wander up to circle a nipple and then he squeezes is gently. Adam arch his back in pleasure and his hands reach for Tommy's hair. He pulls it, making sure that Tommy knows what he needs. Tommy sucks down again.

"Mmm that is soooo good ….Tommy," it is barely words coming out of Adam's mouth but it doesn't matter, the message is received loud and clear. Tommy lets go of Adam with a little pop, his hand continue working its magic.

"Yeah, let me hear you," Adam whimpers in return and his fucking toes curl. He is a mess, a whimpering, quivering mess and so close to an orgasm, there might be bigger than life.

"I wanna hear you scream my fucking name when you come," Tommy says because that might be the only thing that could make this even better.

"Shit, you're beautiful like this. Come for me babe," Tommy feels Adam's balls curve up and knows that Adam is just about to fly off the cliff, so he takes him in his mouth again, knowing that is what will make it happen. Adam pulls Tommy away just in time to release himself on to his stomach. And he really does cry out Tommy's name over and over again. Tommy looks at Adam mesmerized, he kisses his way up to him, and when he finally reaches his destination, Adam is coming around again.

"Hi," Tommy whispers against Adam's lips. Adam smiles a slow hazy smile.

"Hi, you do realize that it is my turn now, right?"

"Kinda counting on it," Tommy licks his way into Adam's mouth. Hands starts to wander, explore. Adam lovingly shoves Tommy on his back. He has his mind set on making this slow and amazing. He is going to show Tommy a world of wonders. Making sure he never wants to leave this bed again.

Adam's kisses are driving Tommy insane with pleasure, but Adam's fingers gently caressing and finding all Tommy's weaknesses, are way more dangerous. Tommy can't remember ever been this turned on before, he is shaking for fuck's sake. Adam straddles Tommy, forcing him to stay still. He pulls Tommy's arms over his head and holds them there for a minute. Then he turns his attention to Tommy's pants. He slowly unbuttons them, Tommy thrust up against Adam's hands but Adam just smirks at him.

"Patience. You were the one asking me to slow down," he pushes Tommy's hips down and unzips Tommy's pants and slowly wiggles them off him.

"Fucker," Tommy reaches out for Adam. Damn he wants to touch. Adam grabs his hands and put them back over his head.

"Hey!" Tommy complains. Adam kisses him wickedly and intense and Tommy can't even respond properly, he is that dazed. Fuck, Adam and that tongue and those fucking lips.

"Keep them there, otherwise I'll tie you up I swear to God," Adam laughs softly and teasingly.

"Don't care who you swear to! Atheist here!" Tommy says because like hell if he wants to touch, he fucking will.

"Let me do this for you," Adam says in a low soft voice between kisses and Tommy surrenders. What else can he do, really? Adam work his way down and finally he reaches the soft sensitive skin on the hips. Long wet strokes with that tongue nearly ends Tommy.

"Oh God are you trying to kill me," Tommy tries to the best of his ability to breathe slow and deep enough to make a statement out of it, but comes out shattered and broken, because fuck he is close to losing it completely. Adam sucks on Tommy's balls and runs a fingertip gently over his hole. He lets his tongue, teeth and hot wetness of his mouth attack Tommy's twitching dick, making Tommy moan and write.

"Adam….. Adam….. Adam…. Adam,"

Tommy's eyes are closed and his hands are holding firmly onto Adam's shoulders, there will be bruises tomorrow, but Adam doesn't care, he will happily carry any mark Tommy put on him. The blowjob is wet and sloppy but it is the most amazing thing Tommy ever experienced and even though he wants it to last forever, like a fucking eternity, he knows he won't last longer, he tries to warn Adam.

"Fuck, shit Adam I'm gonna…." Adam knows, he fucking knows and swallows Tommy's jizz.

Tommy smells like sex. Beautiful, fucking amazing sex and he even looks like sex. Adam lets himself rest next to him drawing slow lazy caresses on Tommy's gorgeous body.  
>"Looking at me," Tommy mumbles.<p>

"Not looking, gazing, whole other deal," Adam smiles and kisses Tommy's shoulder.

"Stop it,"

"Can't, you're beautiful," Adam smiles, he is so fucking happy.

"Am not," Tommy hides his face in the pillow, embarrassed as hell.

"But you are, to the point of heartbreak,"

"Shut up, don't need to sweet talk me," Tommy scoots over to Adam. Needs to be closer.

"But I want to sweet talk you," Tommy kisses Adam seductively.

"Save your strength for round two," Adam raises an eyebrow.

"Round two?" Tommy nods.

"You didn't think I would let you out of bed today, did you?" he smirks at Adam.

"God, I hope not!" Adam gently swipes Tommy's hair away so he can look him in the eyes.

"Gonna keep me?" Tommy asks, he's not kidding. This is a deathly serious question. Adam sees it, hears it. And his heart swells to the point of breaking. God, he loves this wonderful man.

"Forever and ever!" Tommy lets go of the breath there was restrained in his lungs. Relief, pure and simple. His face breaks in a sensual smile and he cuddles even closer, content and happy so, so happy.


End file.
